This evening I had a revelation and what better place to have it than in a church. I listened to the lesson I have heard many many times before, Luke chapter two, verse 16: "And they came and found "Mary and Joseph, and the baby lying in a manger."
Note the comma. This is a very important comma. A comma which prevents the image of Mary and Joseph all together in the manger with baby Jesu.
But maybe that interpretation is actually the more accurate. As a mother I know that when you have just given birth to an amazing miracle of life from within you, you want to do nothing other than hold your baby, to explore the tiny hands and feet and of course to breast feed straight away.
Your baby - equally strongly - not realising that it has become physically separated from you, wants to be snuggled warm and close to you and to hear your heart beat, just as it's heard the beat for a whole nine months' gestation.
I'd wager that swaddling baby Jesus and putting him amongst the hay on his own probably wasn't on his agenda, and likely he was vocal in that regard. With everyone being so tired, and not being in a house but in an animal shelter, what's the betting that Mary and Joseph and baby Jesus were actually all snuggled together in the hay for warmth. - without that comma. It's a scene most parents of newborn will recognise and far more likely I reckon.
Merry Christmas everyone!
Tuesday, 24 December 2013
Thursday, 19 December 2013
Ho, ho, ho
I can't quite believe that it's six months since my last blood test. I duly turned up earlier in the week to submit myself to the phlebotomist. Then today I did something that I've been meaning to do for a while. I saw my GP in the hope that I could gain some reassurance about the odd twinge of discomfort I have in my right hip when I turn over in bed at night. It's been around since the summer when it seemed to be just a case of camper's hip - something from which I've suffered on and off during my sixty odd years of camping activities.
During the day it causes me no trouble at all - but in bed, by morning I'm aware that there's the odd nagging ache if I get into the wrong position. Actually I knew that at some point my right hip would cause me trouble because I was told that it had glowed on one of my PET scans - though whatever it was that showed up was obviously not considered symptomatic of anything nasty at the time.
After asking me to touch my toes, which I am able to do with great ease, and examining my hip, my GP said it was probably muscular. He confirmed that all the recent blood results were now OK - which was good news. However just to be on the safe side he's going to do a couple of other blood tests for cancer markers - just in case the hip issue is something more sinister.
It's a long time since I've had that awful adrenalin rush which comes from an irrational panic of blind fear. It's not nice, but it passes quickly once common sense takes over. All other cancer survivors or sufferers who read this will I'm sure know what I'm talking about.
At the moment this has rather put a dampner on the festive season, but I'm sure by tomorrow I'll have put it to the back of my mind - that's until my appointment with the phlebotomist. Hey ho! - or perhaps that should be instead at this time of year - Ho, ho, ho!
During the day it causes me no trouble at all - but in bed, by morning I'm aware that there's the odd nagging ache if I get into the wrong position. Actually I knew that at some point my right hip would cause me trouble because I was told that it had glowed on one of my PET scans - though whatever it was that showed up was obviously not considered symptomatic of anything nasty at the time.
After asking me to touch my toes, which I am able to do with great ease, and examining my hip, my GP said it was probably muscular. He confirmed that all the recent blood results were now OK - which was good news. However just to be on the safe side he's going to do a couple of other blood tests for cancer markers - just in case the hip issue is something more sinister.
It's a long time since I've had that awful adrenalin rush which comes from an irrational panic of blind fear. It's not nice, but it passes quickly once common sense takes over. All other cancer survivors or sufferers who read this will I'm sure know what I'm talking about.
At the moment this has rather put a dampner on the festive season, but I'm sure by tomorrow I'll have put it to the back of my mind - that's until my appointment with the phlebotomist. Hey ho! - or perhaps that should be instead at this time of year - Ho, ho, ho!
Thursday, 14 November 2013
Six month checkup
I've just come back from my check up. They take an X-ray to see if there is anything untoward. There wasn't. Fantastic!
I cannot understand why the system demands that my blood pressure is measured before I go in to see the chest physician. It's high - it was screamingly high today. I'd been hyperventilating, I was aware of that, and by the time I'd actually negotiated the hospital car park, the X-ray department and was sitting once again in the "pink zone" waiting room I could feel my heart pounding. It's just another useless statistic which no doubt someone has to process.
I nearly cried when he looked straight at me with a very serious face and said that everything was fine. It is after all a very emotional moment to know that you've made it another six months down the road of life which you didn't expect to have. But I still haven't worked out what it is that I was destined to do with this extra time; I'm still waiting to find out.
I cannot understand why the system demands that my blood pressure is measured before I go in to see the chest physician. It's high - it was screamingly high today. I'd been hyperventilating, I was aware of that, and by the time I'd actually negotiated the hospital car park, the X-ray department and was sitting once again in the "pink zone" waiting room I could feel my heart pounding. It's just another useless statistic which no doubt someone has to process.
I nearly cried when he looked straight at me with a very serious face and said that everything was fine. It is after all a very emotional moment to know that you've made it another six months down the road of life which you didn't expect to have. But I still haven't worked out what it is that I was destined to do with this extra time; I'm still waiting to find out.
Thursday, 7 November 2013
Thinking first
We're beset at the moment with one cause or another, one proposition to like or not. And it's so easy to click on a link and pass it on.
I have two internet rules to which I do find it hard to adhere I must admit:
1. "Never put on the internet - even into an email - anything that I wouldn't want the whole wide world to see."
2. Never forward anything or support anything that I haven't completely understood and thoroughly researched first.
And so it was today when a friend posted something which was undoubtedly just, which was extremely funny but which included personal details sufficient that both a company and an individual could be identified, that I hesitated.
Do you know, I actually asked myself: "can I afford to click on this?" - as in, can I afford the financial penalty should what I'm passing on not prove to be true, is a fabrication and therefore a defamation of character? It couldn't be checked out so I decided not to share it.
Maybe I'm especially sensitive given that I have in the past received threats of actions for defamation from two of the best personal reputation lawyers in London. Maybe I am sensible. Maybe I'm too cautious. But at least by not getting involved I now don't need to think about that one cause ever again ................ well not until the next person sends it to me.
I have two internet rules to which I do find it hard to adhere I must admit:
1. "Never put on the internet - even into an email - anything that I wouldn't want the whole wide world to see."
2. Never forward anything or support anything that I haven't completely understood and thoroughly researched first.
And so it was today when a friend posted something which was undoubtedly just, which was extremely funny but which included personal details sufficient that both a company and an individual could be identified, that I hesitated.
Do you know, I actually asked myself: "can I afford to click on this?" - as in, can I afford the financial penalty should what I'm passing on not prove to be true, is a fabrication and therefore a defamation of character? It couldn't be checked out so I decided not to share it.
Maybe I'm especially sensitive given that I have in the past received threats of actions for defamation from two of the best personal reputation lawyers in London. Maybe I am sensible. Maybe I'm too cautious. But at least by not getting involved I now don't need to think about that one cause ever again ................ well not until the next person sends it to me.
Friday, 25 October 2013
Food for life
It's difficult, and it's even more difficult when you get closer to Christmas. Sugar abounds. It's everywhere. There's sugar in things where you don't expect it; there's sugar in so much that is part of our culture.
Think about it. Birthdays - there's birthday cake; at Christmas it's Christmas cake; the same for weddings. There's working breakfasts with chocolate croissants. There's elevensies with sugar-saturated biscuits and how about a cup of tea and a slice of cake? In some cafes it's impossible to order anything which does not contain sugar. If they don't have a cheese scone, then I go without.
Ah, but cheese. Well, that's one of my problems. I love it. I especially love blue cheese and having denied myself anything with a live culture during chemo, I continue to scrump cheese in amounts that I really shouldn't. In case you were wondering, that's what has taken up residence around my midrift!
However I do still try because I really do believe that without the change to my diet which I made immediately I'd been diagnosed with lung cancer, I wouldn't be here today. And it follows that the metabolic imbalance, that my body most certainly suffered in the run up to the diagnosis, could return and that's something I certainly don't want.
I'm reminded today of what I should be doing food-wise by Chris Woollams' email today which has pointed to me his excellent diet article. If you've stumbled on this blog because of cancer, than do sign up to Chris's emails and take a look at the website CANCERactive. What he says makes so much sense.
My nutritionist says: if you can't pick it or kill it, don't eat it - and ultimately that's probably the best advice when it comes to what you should be eating for the best possible health. In this ever-pervading sea of refined sugars and compromised fats, I do try so hard to be good.
Think about it. Birthdays - there's birthday cake; at Christmas it's Christmas cake; the same for weddings. There's working breakfasts with chocolate croissants. There's elevensies with sugar-saturated biscuits and how about a cup of tea and a slice of cake? In some cafes it's impossible to order anything which does not contain sugar. If they don't have a cheese scone, then I go without.
Ah, but cheese. Well, that's one of my problems. I love it. I especially love blue cheese and having denied myself anything with a live culture during chemo, I continue to scrump cheese in amounts that I really shouldn't. In case you were wondering, that's what has taken up residence around my midrift!
However I do still try because I really do believe that without the change to my diet which I made immediately I'd been diagnosed with lung cancer, I wouldn't be here today. And it follows that the metabolic imbalance, that my body most certainly suffered in the run up to the diagnosis, could return and that's something I certainly don't want.
I'm reminded today of what I should be doing food-wise by Chris Woollams' email today which has pointed to me his excellent diet article. If you've stumbled on this blog because of cancer, than do sign up to Chris's emails and take a look at the website CANCERactive. What he says makes so much sense.
My nutritionist says: if you can't pick it or kill it, don't eat it - and ultimately that's probably the best advice when it comes to what you should be eating for the best possible health. In this ever-pervading sea of refined sugars and compromised fats, I do try so hard to be good.
Thursday, 3 October 2013
Buy with Confidence using the Trading Standards scheme - or not
Friends of mine have recently had a real problem with their curtains. They are not the sort who just pick anyone from an advert. In fact when it comes to trading standards, they demand the highest, so they are always likely to do background checks so that they can buy with confidence.
They bought some very expensive material and after checking with customers the reputation of a curtain maker, who is registered with the "Buy with Confidence" scheme, they handed it over. The job was quite easy: a couple of curtains floor to ceiling, and three sets of much shorter ones.
The result: a bodged job, with seams not straight, hems undulating, fabric stretched, lining showing, pleats uneven. Now I don't like making curtains; in fact I hate it. As many of you know, I'd rather make a silk wedding dress and corded lace bolero. So I'm likely to rush a curtain job and make do here and there. But even I wouldn't have hung those curtains because they were so obviously wrong.
Duly summoned back to see the problem, the curtain maker agreed there were faults. She admitted to subbing out the job and not having checked it. But instead of taking the curtains away and completely remaking them which would have been the only possible way to deal with the problem, the curtain maker did a few adjustments here and there, resulting in unseemly creases. The error was them compounded when the curtains were steamed. The result of this was to cause shrinkage in one layer of fabric (it has two distinct layers which are intervowen) and not necessarily of the other. Yes, you've imagined correctly. The result? Puckering.
My friends were unable to get any satisfaction and now had ruined fabric and a mess hanging in their lounge. Eventually after giving the maker several opportunities for redemption, they resorted to the small claims court where they won hands down on all counts. But have they got the money? No. The curtain maker has now asked for a variation of the payment order and my friends must wait while the liability is discharged in small amounts over several months.
So why am I telling you all this? Well the curtain maker advertises using the "Buy with Confidence" scheme and logo obtained through Trading Standards at our local Council. The council representative has been entirely useless in helping my friends or having the curtain maker removed from the scheme, despite the court judgement which is a direct result of their own incompetence and failure to put right a problem. I see that the business is still listed both on the Buy with Confidence website and our own Council's.
And I've just opened the latest edition of a local publication to find the same curtain maker advertising with the "Buy with Confidence" logo. So, if you're thinking of using a supplier and you see this logo, if I were you I would treat it with great scepticism. All it appears to mean is that the supplier originally jumped through a few hoops to get their credentials. If they don't subsequently fit the bill there doesn't appear to be any mechanism to remove them from the scheme or if there is, it's not working.
They bought some very expensive material and after checking with customers the reputation of a curtain maker, who is registered with the "Buy with Confidence" scheme, they handed it over. The job was quite easy: a couple of curtains floor to ceiling, and three sets of much shorter ones.
The result: a bodged job, with seams not straight, hems undulating, fabric stretched, lining showing, pleats uneven. Now I don't like making curtains; in fact I hate it. As many of you know, I'd rather make a silk wedding dress and corded lace bolero. So I'm likely to rush a curtain job and make do here and there. But even I wouldn't have hung those curtains because they were so obviously wrong.
Duly summoned back to see the problem, the curtain maker agreed there were faults. She admitted to subbing out the job and not having checked it. But instead of taking the curtains away and completely remaking them which would have been the only possible way to deal with the problem, the curtain maker did a few adjustments here and there, resulting in unseemly creases. The error was them compounded when the curtains were steamed. The result of this was to cause shrinkage in one layer of fabric (it has two distinct layers which are intervowen) and not necessarily of the other. Yes, you've imagined correctly. The result? Puckering.
My friends were unable to get any satisfaction and now had ruined fabric and a mess hanging in their lounge. Eventually after giving the maker several opportunities for redemption, they resorted to the small claims court where they won hands down on all counts. But have they got the money? No. The curtain maker has now asked for a variation of the payment order and my friends must wait while the liability is discharged in small amounts over several months.
So why am I telling you all this? Well the curtain maker advertises using the "Buy with Confidence" scheme and logo obtained through Trading Standards at our local Council. The council representative has been entirely useless in helping my friends or having the curtain maker removed from the scheme, despite the court judgement which is a direct result of their own incompetence and failure to put right a problem. I see that the business is still listed both on the Buy with Confidence website and our own Council's.
And I've just opened the latest edition of a local publication to find the same curtain maker advertising with the "Buy with Confidence" logo. So, if you're thinking of using a supplier and you see this logo, if I were you I would treat it with great scepticism. All it appears to mean is that the supplier originally jumped through a few hoops to get their credentials. If they don't subsequently fit the bill there doesn't appear to be any mechanism to remove them from the scheme or if there is, it's not working.
Tuesday, 17 September 2013
Time to relax
It's been hectic for the past few months as many of you will know. It's been hectic for the nicest of reasons; our youngest daughter was getting married and she wished to have a traditional wedding: church service, a procession to the reception in a marquee in a neighbour's field, And so she did. It all went splendidly, nothing went wrong and the sun shone just when it needed to. It was only a couple of weeks ago - not even that in fact - and yet in that short time we've gone from summer to what feels like the depths of winter.
I volunteered to make The Dress which turned out to be slightly more stressful than I'd imagined. I needn't have worried for on the day she looked wonderful, stunningly beautiful and the dress not only stood up to a whole day and evening's activities, it survived a strenuous dance routine that the couple had practised in advance.
When we went back to the house afterwards it was a complete mess - shoes everywhere, bits of people's clothing strewn all around, a half a bottle of Moet open and full of flies (now I know why she was so late getting to the church) and hair pins, make-up you name it, liberally sprinkled over every surface. I didn't rush at it and I'm still preparing little parcels of things for various people to take away again.
Sometimes you get a horrible empty feeling after something really good, but that hasn't happened to me at all. I have a wonderful warn feeling when I think of the day and what a great time we all had and how much fun it all was, especially in the evening. All in all, a good wedding. And now, for the first time, I am a mother-in-law, which I'm finding rather nice.
I volunteered to make The Dress which turned out to be slightly more stressful than I'd imagined. I needn't have worried for on the day she looked wonderful, stunningly beautiful and the dress not only stood up to a whole day and evening's activities, it survived a strenuous dance routine that the couple had practised in advance.
When we went back to the house afterwards it was a complete mess - shoes everywhere, bits of people's clothing strewn all around, a half a bottle of Moet open and full of flies (now I know why she was so late getting to the church) and hair pins, make-up you name it, liberally sprinkled over every surface. I didn't rush at it and I'm still preparing little parcels of things for various people to take away again.
Sometimes you get a horrible empty feeling after something really good, but that hasn't happened to me at all. I have a wonderful warn feeling when I think of the day and what a great time we all had and how much fun it all was, especially in the evening. All in all, a good wedding. And now, for the first time, I am a mother-in-law, which I'm finding rather nice.
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