Monday, 18 July 2011

The waiting game

The letter I received with the admission form advised me to ring this morning to find out if a bed was available. I have and there's no definite answer yet. I therefore await a phone call in the next couple of hours or so. This makes the be-there-by-2pm requirement a little hard to meet. But the admissions manager said it wasn't imperative, as long as I arrive sometime in the afternoon.

Yes, OK, I admit I'm horrendously stressed about this, so much so that this morning a small cold sore appeared on my bottom lip. Once you have cold sores you always have them. They're likely to surface at low moments - hence, I guess, the title 'cold sore'. I really could have done without it but there you go. I've checked and it makes no difference to whether or not they admit me - big sigh of relief. Having come this far I don't want to be turned back by such a small thing.

I know you all think I'm incredibly resilient to the ebbs and flows of this cancer journey that I'm going through, and I guess I am to a great extent. But this one little bit of the road - the interminable waiting - is the one that has the big potholes and causes me anguish.

Once I'm there, once I've signed the forms, given my consent, it will be easy. All I'll have to do is to lie around reading novels and doing what I'm told. Not difficult. I've no problem with the surgery aspect. I'm fine with that. It's just this ruddy waiting that's a pain.

Oh well - either they haven't got a bed - in which case you'll hear from me again later today or they have, in which case watch this space again in about a week. Toodlepip! *

*A bit of a mystery this word. One guess is that the old fashioned upper class slang for 'goodbye' derives from 'toodle-oo' which in turn comes from French 'a tout a l'heure'- translated 'see you soon'.

P.S. The call came - much relief here - lunch and then we're off.

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